If you are a frequent reader of this blog, you know that my husband and I got married abroad. No, we didn’t hold a destination wedding – in fact, we didn’t invite anyone. It was just the two of us, at a beautiful location, celebrating our love in the way that felt right to us.
Which is not to say we didn’t have a wedding. We did. In fact, I even had a wedding planner. It’s just that our wedding was more about us than any guests we may have been trying to impress or cater to. It was also about recognizing that while we wanted to get married abroad, we knew the travel could be cumbersome for those we might have otherwise wanted to invite. And since we weren’t willing to compromise on the destination part, we instead compromised on (or completely cut) the guest list.
And you know what? We aren’t alone in that. While the big, ornate wedding is still most definitely a fun thing – I’ve noticed more and more couples jetting off to elope somewhere and with the exception of the photographer, deciding not to invite any (or at least many) guests in the process.
The beauty is, just because you don’t throw an attended wedding (ceremony) doesn’t mean you can’t throw an incredible party upon your return – which is another thing I’ve noticed many destination couples are doing. They may have a small wedding abroad, with just a few select guests, and then throw a larger reception in a different location for those they otherwise would have wanted to celebrate with.
If going this route seems like the right path for you, I’m all for it.
But how should you go about throwing that reception when you return? Are there rules? Do you still have to be as formal as you would be for a wedding invite? Or does all that kind of go out the door, allowing you a little more freedom and flexibility?
The answer is the latter, of course it is! For the record, I’m not big on “rules” for weddings either. Yes, there are traditions that can be upheld (and that should be, if they are important to you) but your big day should really come down to what you two want. And the same goes for your reception. If you want an very formal and elegant affair, go that route! Get the engraved invitations, hire the most amazing floral artist, and choose that “Italian-villa on Lake Como with the spring blooming wisteria” venue of your dreams (I am dying to shoot here btw, let’s go!). But if something more casual appeals to you (say, a BBQ on a Cabo beach) go for that instead! No rules. No standards. Just whatever you and your new spouse desire!
So if your heart is set on a destination wedding, but you’re worried your destination of choice will discourage guests you would otherwise want to celebrate with from attending; have no fear. You can have the best of both worlds, with a wedding abroad and a reception at home.. or vice versa!
Heck, you can even have two or three receptions if you like – partying anywhere in the world. The options really are limitless. So don’t restrict yourself.
Marriages are a big deal, and you deserve to celebrate!
