Trust can be hard…
Choosing a photographer is, arguably, one of the biggest decisions (apart from your future spouse) you will make regarding your wedding day. I don’t just say that because I am a wedding photographer. I say it because no matter who you talk to, most people will readily admit that their wedding photos were among the most worthwhile expenses of their big day.
The pictures are really the only tangible things you get to keep from your wedding. They memorialize your day and tell the story of how it went. So yes, those photos are important. And selecting the right photographer is a big deal. I absolutely advocate for doing your due diligence there, asking lots of questions and viewing portfolios before settling on the photographer who seems to be the right fit for you.
But then, once your wedding day actually comes around – I advocate for trusting your photographer to get the pictures, and allowing yourself to just enjoy the day.
So many brides go into this day with a long list of photos that they want to achieve. They are so committed to obtaining the Pinterest board of ideas they’ve collected while planning that they don’t necessarily allow themselves to get into the moment. Or allow their own wedding be unique vs. copied. You see forced smiles and stress painted across their faces when this happens. The result is a distracted bride who isn’t in the moment on her big day, and pictures that show she was preoccupied with the exact wrong thing the entire day through.
I absolutely understand the desire to get the best possible pictures on your wedding day. Of course I do – I wouldn’t be doing what I do if I didn’t believe in the power of those photos. But at some point, you have to be willing to step back and trust the professional you have hired to produce what you hired them for.
Absolutely, if there are some pictures you want to make sure are taken, make that list and hand it to your photographer well in advance. What should go on the list? Well, the obvious stuff is a given. The cake cutting, walking down the aisle, the dress. Those are all basics. Your list should contain instead those items that your photographer would have no way of knowing. Have you sewn something into your dress? Using a family heirloom? Is a guest visiting from the other side of the planet? These are the photo opportunities you tell your photographer about. Then, on the day of, have a little faith.
I specialize in documentary or journalistic images. I like to get those in the moment pictures that aren’t staged, because those tend to be the pictures people cherish most. Will we still do some staged photo ops as well? Of course. But trust me when I tell you, it will be the journalistic images, the ones you don’t even necessarily realize I am taking, that will be among your favorites.
And do you know how we get those images? The bride and groom relax, enjoy their day and guests and trust me to take the photos.
One other big thing I recommend is remembering to spend as much of that day with your new spouse as possible. When there are so many people around who you know and love, it is natural to take on a divide and conquer attitude as you work your way through the room. But if the bride and groom spend their entire evening visiting opposite sides of that room, it becomes much more difficult to get those in the moment images of them happy and in love “together” on their big day.
So what is our takeaway message here? Basically, it’s that on your actual wedding day – you should forget about anything and everything else but each other. Trust your friends and family to come to you, or to be understanding of the fact that a lot is going on and you may not be able to visit with everyone. Trust those who love you, to simply be loving you on this day. And trust the photographer to take the pictures.
The days leading up to your wedding, we can talk as much as you want about what you are hoping to achieve. But the day of? Leave the pictures to the professionals. You just focus on being in love.
