When to Travel for a Wedding, and When to Send Your Regrets
Knowing When to Travel for a Wedding, and When to Send Your Regrets
There is something truly exciting about finding out someone you care about is engaged. Whether it is your old college roommate you adore, even though there are now thousands of miles between you, or your best friend who you see every day – hearing that “We’re engaged!” announcement is always welcomed when it comes to someone you know deserves that happiness.
Plus, who doesn’t love to attend a wedding? The fun, the food, the drinks and the reunion quality of seeing people you otherwise may not get together with nearly enough – it all adds up to a good time!
Of course, if attending the wedding is going to involve travel on your end, either because the couple has opted for destination nuptials or because you no longer live in the same city, there are other factors to consider. Sure, in a perfect world you would love to RSVP to every wedding invite you receive. But sometimes, it just isn’t feasible to pay for those plane tickets or to use up your valuable vacation time.
So how do you decide when to pack your bags, and when to send your regrets?
How Close Are You?
There are some weddings you just can’t miss, no matter how inconvenient they may be for you to attend. If your sister is gearing up to say, “I do”, you need to figure out a way to be there. The same goes for your oldest friends, the ones who feel like bothers or sisters, and for anyone who may have been an attendant in your wedding. If they sacrificed to be there for your happy day, you need to work to show them you care enough to return the favor.
But sometimes friendships fade and someone you were close to 5 years ago isn’t even on your radar anymore. While you may miss that friend you haven’t talked to in years, and be honored that they want you at their wedding – it’s fair to ask yourself if this is really an opportunity to reignite that friendship, or if it is more like a giant wedding where everyone the bride and groom has ever met is being invited. If the answer is the latter, it is perfectly acceptable to bow out. Even if you were once attached at the hip at summer camp.
Will You Know Other People at the Wedding?
Oftentimes out of town weddings may mean the chance to catch up with not only the bride and groom, but also a whole group of friends or family members you otherwise haven’t seen in forever. Particularly when you are the one who has left town, a wedding back “home” can be a chance to see all kinds of people you miss.
Then again, there are those weddings where you just know that you will be surrounded by people you have never met – and the idea doesn’t sound all that appealing. Maybe it is your old college roommate; the one who moved three states over after graduating and really didn’t keep in touch with anyone besides you. The wedding is going to be packed full of people you don’t know, people from a new life, and as much as fun as you two may have had in college – if you aren’t that close anymore, do you really want to be feeling like the odd person out when you travel for that wedding? Remember, aren’t going to get introductions you to all the new friends, or even a lot of room for catching up. If you’re an extrovert who loves meeting new people, that may be fine with you! But if the idea of being surrounded by a bunch of strangers at a wedding you had to drop everything and spend a bunch of money to attend sounds miserable, it’s OK to decline the invite.
What Does YOUR Life Look Like?
This goes without saying, but sometimes… life gets in the way. Maybe you are currently pregnant and due around the time of the wedding, or perhaps you are planning nuptials of your own. Again, there are always those weddings that are so important – you can’t miss them. But for everyone who isn’t in your inner circle, you are allowed to take your life into account when deciding whether or not to travel for that big day. It just isn’t always feasible to make that trip work. Remember, wedding invitations are not an obligation and you are allowed to say “no”!