Tips for the Second Wedding
Everyone wants to believe that the first time they say, “I Do” will be the only time. Nobody makes those promises thinking they will someday be making them to someone else. But life happens. Sometimes those vows just don’t work out. People change, they grow apart, and in some cases – tragedy forces a separation that otherwise never would have occurred.
It’s a sad reality of life. Marriage isn’t always forever. But just because one union doesn’t work out, doesn’t mean a person should stop searching for their forever love.
I have photographed my fair share of second weddings, and one thing I can say for sure is there is often a much deeper understanding of what this commitment really means by those who are walking down the aisle for a second time. There are just some things you can’t know until you have been through the fire and back, and I truly believe that sometimes going through a failed marriage can prepare people to make the choices necessary for a successful marriage the second time around.
Which means that love is just as deserving of being celebrated as the first was.
People sometimes shy away from big weddings when it comes to exchanging those vows for a second time. They have done the big wedding thing and want to make this celebration a more intimate affair. The thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong when it comes to planning a second wedding. Just as with the first, this celebration should be about you as a couple and how you want to share your love with those closest to you.
If that means a small and intimate wedding, wonderful! But if you still find yourself wanting a big celebration, it is absolutely acceptable to embrace that as well. Don’t allow anyone else to tell you what your wedding should be.
One of the nice things that sometimes happens with second marriages is a couple has already been through one round of vows where they allowed everyone else (parents/siblings/friends) to take over and have their say about what should happen. With the second wedding, couples are typically more willing to take a stand for what they actually want.
Which is exactly how it should be.
One area to tread a little more carefully with second weddings, however, can be including children from a previous marriage. You obviously want your kids to be a part of your big day, which can occasionally be made more difficult by an ex who objects to your new union. Do your best to arrange plans as early in advance as possible, and talk to your kids about their visions for the big day and how they would like to be included.
Remember that you aren’t just joining together as a couple, you are coming together as a family as well. So making your kids a part of that actual commitment can be a pretty special way of showing them that they will forever remain a priority in both of your lives.
Getting married should be a celebrated event no matter what the circumstances of your previous relationships were. Don’t forget to embrace what makes you and your future spouse unique and worth committing to. Leave the past out of your vows and instead just focus on the future; on all the reasons you have chosen this person to promise that future to.
And don’t forget to hire a professional photographer to capture every important minute of this wedding.
Because these really are the photos you will be looking at with fondness 30 years down the line. And capturing your happily ever after is always important, no matter how long it took you to get there!