How do I choose my Bridesmaids?
How do I choose my Bridesmaids?
Picture this: It’s your wedding day. You are wearing the dress of your dreams, made up to look more beautiful than you ever have before, and you’re about to commit your life to the man you love in front of an audience of friends and family. You’re nervous, as any bride would be, and preparing in a room with your closest friends.
Who are those women there with you? The ones helping you to put the finishing touches on your look, as they do the same. Wearing the dresses you picked out for them, smiles plastered across their faces, ready to support you on the biggest day of your life.
Who are the women you want standing behind you when you say, “I Do”?
Choosing the bridal party can be an exciting part of wedding planning. But it can also be a bit stressful; as you worry about hurting the feelings of those you simply aren’t able to ask to join you up front.
Remember that being a part of the bridal party is a commitment, though. It’s one that typically requires extra expenses on the part of your bridesmaids, as well as time committed to the various pre-wedding activities. As such, you only want to ask your closest friends and family to be a part of your bridal party. You want those women to be the ones who will surely be in your life for the next several decades to come.
So start by sitting down with your groom and determining how many people you want in your wedding party, total. You and he may differ some, and that’s OK. There is no rule saying you each have to have the same number of people standing behind you. But getting a general idea of how many men he is thinking of asking to be his groomsmen may help you to narrow down your list as well.
Then, start from the top and work your way down. Who do you want to be your Maid of Honor? A lot of women choose a sister or their best friend for this role. For some, the simple choice of designating the honor here may be a bit too much – so just know that you are the one who gets to make the rules. You could have two Maids of Honor, or none at all, if making the choice really does start to seem too difficult.
From there, start designating the other women you want standing with you. Keeping your original number in mind, work through the people you have considered yourself closest to over the years. Don’t allow yourself to feel obligated to invite someone to be in your wedding party just because you were in theirs, though. This is your wedding and your wedding party – you get to decide who you most want to fill the shoes of your bridesmaids.
When it comes time to ask those special women in your life to join your wedding party, try to do so individually – make a mini-event out of it, if you can. Invite each of the women to coffee or dinner and tell them you have something important you want to talk to them about. For those who are out of town, schedule a Skype date and send a bottle of wine along ahead of time. Then extend the honor, and let them know how much it would mean to you for them to be standing up with you on the big day.
If these truly are your closest friends and family members, they will be ecstatic to have been included in your plans. Remember, though, that sometimes extenuating circumstances may keep people from joining your wedding party – even if they desperately wish they could be a part of your big day. So understand if a potential bridesmaid declines and don’t feel pressured to fill her space. This isn’t about keeping quotas or trying to achieve even numbers for photo ops. The women standing beside you will be fulfilling important roles, and it is better to keep them limited to those you truly are close to, rather than scrambling at the last minute to fill slots.