5 Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows
I recently came across the mention of a business geared towards writing wedding vows for couples about to take the commitment plunge. It was an interesting concept – a freelance writer collecting the answers to pre-determined questions, and using those answers to create personal vows for couples that are struggling to put those words on paper. Not all of us are writers, after all, and sometimes expressing that love verbally (and in front of so many watchful eyes) can seem overwhelming.
But it doesn’t have to be. Writing personal vows has been the norm for many years now, which means that there is lots of room for variety and creativity in their presentation. There are no rules; there is just you, your love, and the words you are about to promise to each other.
So how do you make sure those words express the sentiment behind this event?
1. Infuse a Bit of You
Don’t be afraid to allow your personality to shine through your vows. If you tend to be a bit sarcastic, add a humorous note or two. Share a story of the moment you first realized you were in love, or the impression you had the first time you and your soon-to-be spouse met eyes. Expose bits and pieces of your romance, and details of how you fit together. You make your vows personal by allowing pieces of yourself and your relationship into them.
2. Acknowledge the Importance of this Commitment
While speaking with a bit of personality is encouraged, you also want to make sure you address this huge commitment you are about to make. For better or worse, till death do us part are the traditional vows – how can your words express the same weight? Marriage is a big deal, and happily ever after should be forever. So make sure your vows reflect the seriousness of that.
3. Embrace your Connection
Remember to keep your relationship front and center in the reciting of your vows. The magic that connects the two of you should be a focal point in these promises. How will you nurture and embrace that connection moving forward? Saying “I do” is not all that is required of making and keeping this commitment to each other. Your connection is what will ultimately keep the two of you together, and respecting and caring for that connection will forever be important. Which means that now is certainly not the time to take that connection for granted.
4. Recite, Revise, Repeat
Once your vows are all written out, the practice begins. Recite those vows to yourself in front of a mirror, in front of friends, and even for your dog if it helps. Revise the lines that don’t flow smoothly or feel as though they fit into the rest of your overall tone. And repeat the practice process again and again until you feel as though you have created vows that truly speak to the love and commitment this day will embody.
5. Say it With Heart
When it comes to speaking those vows in front of your closest loved ones, while staring your betrothed in the eye, nerves can sometimes set in. It is normal to get anxious, and when we get anxious – it is also normal to stumble over your words, or worse, to speak them with a flat affect, as though you are simply reading words from a dictionary. Remember that the conviction with which you speak these vows is nearly as important (maybe even more important) than the vows themselves. So take a deep breath, and remember why you are here and what these vows truly mean. Don’t be afraid to speak from the heart, with love radiating from every word.